No relationship is absolutely perfect 100 percent of the time. But you can usually tell pretty quickly when a relationship definitely isn’t going to stand the test of time.
These are tell-tale signs that two people were just not made for each other. Some are pretty obvious.
Some, less so. We all deserve to be happy. If you or your friend is experiencing any of these bad relationship signals, maybe it’s time to make a change.
A little arguing back and forth is normal, but when you can hear these idiots screaming their heads off at each other every single goddamn day of their lives, they need to just quit it. –Mistah-Jay
The four horsemen
There is actually research by John Gottman in this area. He calls them the four horsemen.
The traits are contempt, criticism, stonewalling and defensiveness. His research has shown that within just a few minutes of watching a couple, he can determine if their relationship is likely to end in divorce based on if any of these are present.
The good news is, they all have antidotes!
They dislike each other
The only one for me is: when they don’t like each other.
Literally, everything else I’ve seen couples successfully bypass – extreme differences in personalities, in interests, in politics, in sex drives, in religions, all fine – as long as they like each other and want to be around each other.
If you’re dreading going home at the end of the day because your spouse is there, that’s the only time I think “Why are you even together, then?” –molly__pop
They don’t listen to each other
I saw one just the other day at a restaurant. He would be talking, and she would be listening and responding.
When she was talking, he would pick up his phone and stare at it the whole time.
That relationship isn’t going to last. –sstair
The next one is totally key.
Never go on Twitter! For your relationship advice or, really, for anything.
Posting your problems on social media. Like, wtf? Do you want everyone to go against your partner? Nothing ever comes good out of it and it’s childish.
Too hot to handle.
Intensity. Extremely intense relationships flame out.
Rules are rules!
When they’re in love in the first week and start making rules and promises about what they both can and can not do because they’re “so devoted.”
You have to be flexible in relationships.
I’ve noticed that if one partner is really inconsiderate over minor things, they’re not into it, and it’s doomed. Like, they never lift a finger to help the other person with even small things — won’t hold the door open, won’t move to make room on the couch, won’t adjust their schedule five minutes either way for anything. Doomed.
Generally, you want to like the person you love.
Science tells us: contempt
If you see this on the face of either, towards the other, it’s a 95% certainty it won’t last.
Someone needs to sit this sibling down and have a nice, honest talk.
You would think attempted murder with a gun would be a good indicator… and yet my sibling wants to stay with that crazy dingbat.
A penny saved is a relationship also saved.
Money. If one person has terrible budgeting skills and the other doesn’t, it can cause a lot of problems.
– [account deleted]
Just be chill about the dumb stuff your man is into, okay?
When one person in the relationship is passionate about anything and the other person continuously shoots them down.
A couple of friends started dating out of nowhere, but the girl always had dreams and goals she wanted to achieve. The guy constantly told her she was wrong and that she wouldn’t accomplish them.
I can believe it!
The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple hundred people, said, “Can you believe that just two months ago, (bride’s name) was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!”
Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.